I didn’t do much work last evening. Or the evening before. I fell asleep. It happens so often whenever it’s my turn to get our son to bed. He’s a toddler so it takes about an hour for him to settle down and get sleepy. I feel so connected to him even on a physical level that we usually fall asleep at the same time. As if our brainwaves were coordinated. Well, it could be true. After all, mother and child are eternally connected and the baby’s DNA flows through mum’s system long after birth.
What your kid can teach you about self-care
Children are amazing teachers of self-care. They live in the present moment. When they want to sleep they just doze off and it doesn’t matter if it’s over a bowl of cereal or on the floor. When they want food they scream for it. They stay away from negativity. They laugh at silly things.
My boy has helped me do what I rarely do for myself. Get me to sleep before 10 p.m. I slept very well last night. I need my sleep and 8 hours is a minimum for me. But I don’t listen to the voice of my body often enough. There’s so much to catch up on that I usually go to bed around midnight. I used to have guilty conscience for not waking up and getting back to work or dealing with household stuff when he fell asleep. Nowadays I usually don’t beat myself up and feel grateful for the rest I’m getting.
Self-care for moms. Does it have to be expensive?
Self-care is the word right now. Get a massage, they say, go to a spa, do your asanas and breathe deeply. The reality of most parents, however, does not leave a lot of time or money for fancy relaxation retreats or even basic exercise to maintain a healthy back and stretch those tired muscles. Most of us can only afford homemade self-care. And that’s OK. If we believe that taking care of our bodies, our health and de-stressing is important and helps us be better mommies, daddies and partners, we will find simple solutions that work for us.
I’m curious to hear your ideas for taking care of yourself without paying a lot of money and without spending too much time on preparations. Self-care is also absolutely crucial for our sex drive so I hope you find something for yourself soon.
My self-care to-do list
Here are some of my favourite simple techniques for self-care and it is my intention to have more of them in my life. There, I said it.
- Listening to relaxing music and sounds while working. I love listening to religious chorals. Think Gregorian but in a more classical version. The monotonous sounds help me relax and focus and add the spiritual value I’m often missing in my life. Try the chants composed by the medieval abbess, mystic and visionary Hildegard of Bingen. And read up on her, she’s a true inspiration.
2. Dancing and shaking it out. I love rhythmic tunes with drums, I love samba even though I suck at learning the steps. And if I have more time, my dance class of choice is 5 Rhythms method. It’s a type of intuitive dance but with some structure and guidance. Check it out as it helps get rid of negative emotions and boost your energy.
3. Meditation. Honestly I have no clue about it and how to do it right. But whenever I make a conscious decision to sit down, close my eyes and just be, I feel amazing afterwards. I could never get into the habit of meditating, perhaps because I always tried doing it before bedtime (and it really helps you fall asleep). Now I intend to do it for five minutes during the day. 5 minutes is feasible, right?
Learn about sexual self-care
These are just some of the ideas for self-care. Want to continue the conversation? Watch the replay of my Facebook Live show “With Love… About Sex”. What you’ll learn?
- why do we say we don’t have time for self-care?
- how lack of self-care impacts our sex life
- ideas for sexual self-care .